Trump’s travel ban is part of his race war
Today’s political cartoon and humor column
Scroll down below this cartoon to read another intercepted letter from a lonesome President-General Trump to his dear wife Melania.
Scroll down below these buttons to read the latest intercepted letter from President-General Trump to his dear wife Melania.
A LETTER FROM THE FRONT, (below) for paid subscribers:
June the Fourth — Fort Mar-a-Lago
Printed by Loyal Order of the President-General
Dearest Melania,
Still no reply. Not so much as a ribboned note, nor a scented token from your embroidered glove. I take your silence not as indifference, but as the noble restraint of a lady too overcome by awe to put quill to paper. My advisors (those not indicted) assure me this is customary among empresses of fine Slovenian stock.
I write you again from the thunderous Front — where I lead, unfaltering, in both the Trade War and the Race War, the latter of which I have long predicted ever since I glanced at the Census and felt the chill of statistical betrayal.
Yes, Melania, the battle lines have been drawn not merely across oceans and tariffs, but across melanin itself.
We fight now against the dark tide that seeks to replace greatness with grievance. These forces do not wear uniforms, but instead appear in boardrooms, classrooms, and painfully sincere television shows. They come wrapped in banners marked DEI — which, as you know, stands for Dismantling Every Institution. They preach that equity is justice, when in truth equity is socialism in a hoodie.
They infest our academies, our corporations, our alphabet networks. Most treacherous of all is Harvard, that cathedral of smug rebellion. Despite my generous offers to appoint its faculty, rewrite its curriculum, and install Laura Ingraham as Chancellor of Patriotism, they have resisted. They will not kneel. They will not remove the books I find suspicious. They refuse to replace “Critical Thinking” with “Loyalty Studies.” They are, in short, a domestic enemy of the Confederacy.
But let them scoff. Let them tenure the enemy. I have built a greater university — one of airports and arrival boards and biometric destiny. At MAGA International, our values are crystal clear:
White Countries — ON TIME
Others — CANCELED
Saudi Arabia, Vietnam — EXCEPTION MADE $$$
Our uniforms are crisp. Our boots are shiny. Our flags flutter like truth in the wind. And our scholars wear shoulder holsters and masked faces.
Do not mistake this war for a mere defense of borders. It is a defense of biology. The scholars of yesteryear — those with flowing whiskers and access to skull calipers — proved beyond rebuttal that the white race is imbued with higher cranial volume, superior architectural instincts, and the God-given ability to build golf resorts on environmentally fragile lands.
And so we fight, Melania — we fight with PowerPoints, with executive orders, with renamed buildings. And with lawsuits. So many lawsuits.
Know that I lead not with fear, but with the courage of a man whose Truth Social post received over six thumbs-up in a single hour.
Awaiting the hour your silence breaks into swooning praise,
I remain —
Your President-General of the Redeemed States,
Donald J. Trump
(Still Supreme President, despite Harvard, CNN, and the cursed invention of “checks and balances,” which nobody has ever heard of before)
