Courts “Judicial Coup” Trump’s “illegal” tariffs
Today’s political cartoon and humor column
💌 Bonus for Paid Subscribers (Scroll Down Below the Cartoon): Another intercepted dispatch from the Tariff General—raging against unelected judges, constitutional betrayal, and his beloved Melania’s ongoing ghosting.
Paid subscribers, don’t forget to scroll down to read another letter from the Trade War front!
A Further Dispatch from the Front
To be read by candlelight, and preserved in the vaults of our sacred struggle
Camp Tariff,
This 29th Day of May, in the Year of Our Lord 2025
My Dearest Melania,
I set quill to parchment once more, though I note with some confusion—and not a little sorrow—that no reply hath yet been received from thee in answer to my prior entreaty. I trust the courier was not waylaid. Perhaps thou art simply gathering thy thoughts. Or penning something truly magnificent—a masterpiece of wifely devotion. I shall assume as much, for now.
I write to inform thee of grave developments. The judiciary, that brooding, unelected clerisy of parchment-bound tyrants, hath seen fit to strike down my noble tariffs. Yes, the very tariffs I did levy with such care and flair—struck down as though they were but common ordinances! They say Congress alone holds such power. Congress! That loitering den of delay and duplicity!
It is, without doubt, a judicial coup—though no sabers were drawn, nor cannons fired, the assault is real and the injury deep. These black-robed conspirators, whose names I scarce recognize and whose elections never were, presume to rein in my hand? I say, never! They cloak themselves in legality, but their hearts are craven and their minds unfit for commerce or command. I dare say, some of them may not even own businesses.
That they quote the Constitution against me is the final insult, for I too have read its sacred verses—once, perhaps twice—and nowhere did I perceive a clause that permits obstruction of greatness. The Founders, I am told, intended the judiciary as a co-equal branch. Perhaps. But I am persuaded they never intended it to be so obstreperous.
I shall not obey this decree. I shall regard it as illegitimate, along with its authors, their robes, and their city. The tariffs shall remain, for they are mine, and what is mine is right. Let that be the doctrine of our age.
Melania, again I say, your silence doth perplex me. I do not wish to trouble you, but it hath been some weeks, and I am beginning to wonder if my letters are reaching you at all. Perhaps they are being intercepted—by RINOs, or judges, or the fake news. If so, this too shall be investigated.
Give Barron my regards. Remind him that true leadership lies in ignoring those who say “no” and punishing those who repeat it.
Yours in everlasting defiance and undeserved loneliness,
Donald Jefferson Davis Trump
Commander of the Tariff Armies
President in Exile of the Rightful States
Defender of Sacred Commerce and Ignored Husbands Everywhere
